Healing with Danuta Jirik, PhD, SEP
Family Constellation Therapy (Systemic Constellation Work) training was one of the crucial steps on my path as a holistic healer. My own constellations were deeply transforming, and literally gave me my own life back. I offer group work through the Family Constellations Workshops or one-on-one sessions.
Together we create a very safe, supportive atmosphere for deeply transformative work. As a facilitator and teacher I hold the sacred space with the help of compassionate helping spirits.
Check out the Upcoming Workshop Schedule or Contact Me
to set-up something in your area.
"As the family is, so is life." - Bert Hellinger
The inner image of your family system is like a template that colors all other relationships: with people, with money, with work and with the world. Change the template, and life - as it flows through it - will change.
Bert Hellinger, the great German therapist, started to practice the Family Constellations in psychotherapy over 30 years ago. Much of it can be found in ancient ways of healing that were practiced in traditional communities, and Hellinger learned from them in his 25 years as a missionary to the Zulu in Africa. His constantly evolving work has given us a gift to look deep into and transform the invisible links that bind us to the fate of our ancestors, to become friendly with Life and with Death and to come into harmony with the unknown forces that shape our families and personal histories...a chance to change our inner images and heal our lives.
Constellation work helps resolve entanglements with other members of our family system, most obviously our own parents but also others - often people who have been forgotten or excluded by the family. One of the basic principles is that everyone belongs equally. A stillborn child, a mother's first love, an uncle's victim, the father's ex-wife all belong to the system and need a place within it. If they are not acknowledged and given a place someone down the line will have to carry their feelings or the burden of their fate for them.
The work follows certain observable orders but primarily relies on the information coming from the "knowing field" that arises as soon as the constellation is set up. As the process unfolds, unconscious loyalties and indentifications come to surface and are dealt with by means of simple sentences and changes in positioning. Harmony in a family system is restored when every member of the system carries their own responsibility and their own fate, and has their proper place within the system. A descendant/child (the client) is then free to be his/her own person and love can flow in a new, enlightened way.
The blind love and unconscious loyalty to our family makes us say to those who carry pain, sorrow, difficult fate, guilt, etc.:
I'll be like you (Examples: depressed mother - depressed daugher; dad drinks - son drinks)
I will do it in your place (Example: father drawn towards death - daughter anorexic)
I will atone for you, and I will live like your victim or I will get punished if you didn't (Example: grandfather committed a crime and avoided punishment - a grandson feels like a victim, or breaks the law and goes to jail).
I will follow you (Example: a parent dies early - the child is too small to grieve - the child is drawn to death).
I will seek justice for you (an ancestor got cheated out of inheritance - a descendant is furious whenever he encounters an injustice; grandmother and mother suffered abuse in a concentration camp - the daughter is violent towards men in authority)
In honor of you I will live well
I'll make my life a gift to you
I will love you by doing it differently
FAMILY CONSTELLATION GROUP WORKSHOPS
In the workshop, the person having her constellation states the issue and chooses other workshop participants to represent her and the members of her family system. The representatives are placed in the room in a spacial relationship to one another, a reflection of the client's inner image of the system (hence the name "constellation"). While occupying the position of a particular member of the system they are able to quite accurately report on the feelings of the people they represent. They feel, for example, pulled towards others or repelled by them, thus revealing the hidden dynamics and tensions within the system that relate to the issue in question. Working with this constellation involves helping the initial image shift in the direction of resolution and results in the client gaining a new image of his family system and his place in it. The soul forces can now flow through this new, balanced inner image and create an improved experience that reflects its harmony.
FAMILY CONSTELLATION ONE-ON-ONE SESSIONS
The one-on-one sessions take place in my office or over the phone. We set up the family system either with little wooden figures to represent the family members or we see it in the field of imagination.
from Bert Hellinger (about his work in the introduction to Rising in Love)...
"The *Hellinger sciencia,* spelled this way deliberately, is a *scientia universalis* in the original philosophical tradition. It is a universal science of the orders - and even of the laws- that are at work in all important human connections and interactions. First of all the orders apply to the relationships within the family, which means the relationship between man and woman, between parents and children, including their upbringing. And this science covers the orders in our work life, in organizations and institutions, and it extends to the orders between larger groups, such as peoples and cultures.
At the same time it is a *scientia universalis* of the disorders that lead to conflict in human relationships and that separate people instead of bringing them together. These orders and disorders are also transmitted to the body. They play an important role in diseases - and in the health of body, soul, and mind.
Why do I use this term *Hellinger sciencia*? Over several decades I have gained these insights and described them freely. I have tested them in real-life situations, and publicly. This has allowed people to examine the effects of these insights within themselves as well as in their relationships and in their actions. The empirical approach shows that we are dealing with a proper science here.
As a science, the Hellinger sciencia is a work in progress, meaning that it continues to evolve through my work and through the experience and insights of numerous others, who have made a commitment to it – and to the consequences. As a living science, it does not form the static foundation for a school, as if it was completed and could be passed on and learned as something definite and conclusive. Development proceeds without efficiency control, as it cannot be assessed by standards that lie outside of it, and then be expected to justify itself before them. Its verification lies in its effects and its success. This is an open science in every regard."
- Bert Hellinger
After Your Constellation (adapted by Sheila Saunders from a brief paper by Heinz Stark)
You have received new insights and healing images in the soul’s unique language. This has a deep impact and can give your life new direction. Our soul is not a machine that turns on and off. It has it’s own ways to digest and assimilate what touches it. Thoughts are quick; the soul moves slowly. On a soul level, we are deeply connected with all the members of our family system, living and dead. The healing effects of the work unfold in their own time when we let go of the need to do something. As we hold all those who belong to our family in conscious love, respecting their fates and their burdens as their own, then the childlike loyalties where love and belonging meant living out the consequences of another’s life will serve no further purpose. Suffering is replaced with acknowledging what is.
You may, along the way, encounter resistance in the form of thoughts or fears. Just recall the relief you felt deep inside you, when a solution was found or a new image came to light. The soul now holds this new image and will assimilate it over time in the most beneficial way. Any attempt to influence the process by talking, thinking, analyzing or researching is completely unnecessary. Trust that you will move forward. The process will unfold over months, even years. If you want to share your experiences, share the new insights rather than the original problem. Looking at the solution allows the problem, which is now past, to have a positive influence on the present. And the present is all there is. All the best to you!
ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES...
"Long before the advent of modern therapies trauma was understood and treated by shamans, medicine men and wise women. within these archaic traditions it was implicitly understood that healing always involved some version of reuniting a disconnected part with the greater whole. This ancient wisdom is still relevant for these of us who encounter the many levels of fragmentation within a traumatic experience" - Angwynn StJust